Quote of the Day (2012-09-30)

Ian Faith: They're not gonna release the album... because they have decided that the cover is sexist.

Nigel Tufnel: Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no...

Ian Faith: Sex-IST!

David St. Hubbins: IST!

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2012-09-29)

Blessed are the cheesmakers.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2012-09-28)

Jim Hacker: "Bernard, how did Sir Humphrey know I was with Dr. Cartwright?"

Bernard Woolley: "God moves in a mysterious way."

Jim Hacker: "Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Humphrey is not God, okay."

Bernard Woolley: "Will you tell him or shall I?"

Jim Hacker: "Tell me how he knew where I was."

Bernard Woolley: "Well, confidentially Minister, everything you tell me is in complete confidence, so equally, and I am sure you appreciate this, and by appreciate I don't actually mean appreciate, I mean understand, that everything Sir Humphrey tells me is also in complete confidence, as indeed everything I tell you is in complete confidence, and for that matter everything I tell Sir Humphrey is in complete confidence."

Jim Hacker: "So?"

Bernard Woolley: "So in complete confidence, I am confident that you understand that for me to keep Sir Humphrey's confidence and your confidence, means that conversations between him and me must be completely confidential, as confidential in fact as conversations between you and me are completely confidential."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-09-27)

Bernard Woolley: "They cannot stop us eating the British sausage, can they?"

Jim Hacker: "They can stop us calling it a sausage though. Apparently it has got to be called the Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube."

Bernard Woolley: "And you swallowed it?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-09-26)

Frasier: I remember a time back in Boston when I was going through exactly what you're going through. Just a week later, I met a lovely barmaid, sophisticated if a bit loquacious. We fell madly in love, we got engaged ... of course, she left me standing at the altar but the point is, I didn't give up! I took my poor battered heart and offered it to Lilith! Who put it in her little Cuisinart and hit the "puree" button... I rebounded, and look how far I've come! I'm divorced, lonely, and living with my father.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2012-09-25)

Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:

- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;

- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;

- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;

- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;

- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;

- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;

- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is."

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"

Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-09-24)

There's only 150 of them!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-09-23)

Edmund Edwards: She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.

Rose Schwartz: Yeah.

Edmund Edwards: We have to love her.

Rose Schwartz: Mmm.

Edmund Edwards: We have to care about her.

Rose Schwartz: Mmm.

Edmund Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2012-09-22)

Peter Joshua: Is there a Mr. Lampert?

Reggie Lampert: Yes.

Peter Joshua: Good for you.

Reggie Lampert: No it isn't, I'm getting a divorce.

Peter Joshua: Please! Not on my account.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2012-09-21)

Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-09-20)

Cletus: He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth.

Cletus's Wife: When did you get another tooth?

Cletus: The sidewalk.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-09-19)

"It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And I'm not going to dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-09-17)

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, as Cabinet Secretary I am, of course, most eager to reduce public spending, but as Head of the Civil Service, I am responsible for the very real dangers which will arise administratively if a pay rise does not come through very soon. It's so difficult for me, you see, as I am wearing two hats."

Jim Hacker: "Yes, isn't that rather awkward for you?"

Sir Humphrey: "Not if one is in two minds."

Bernard Woolley: "Or has two faces."

Jim Hacker: "Perhaps I should relieve you of one of them?"

Sir Humphrey: "Oh no, no, no. I am perfectly happy with both of them."

Jim Hacker: "Faces?"

Sir Humphrey: "Hats!"

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-09-16)

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-09-15)

Niles: Her lips said no, but her eyes said read my lips.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2012-09-14)

Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were and they need to try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better to fall short of the fake you than the real you.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2012-09-13)

I read the news today oh, boy

Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire

And though the holes were rather small

They had to count them all

Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall



Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2012-09-12)

Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.

Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.

Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.

Vizzini: Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.

Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy Brandy!

[turning to Fezzik]

Vizzini: And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-09-11)

Rebbecca: Oh, why can't more men send flowers?

Sam: I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.

Rebbecca: I said more men, not Mormons.

Sam: I know they can't dance.

Norm: No Sammy, that's the -- that's the Amish.

Sam: Why can't Mormons send flowers?

Rebbecca: They can.

Sam: What are you talking about?

Rebbecca: I just wish someone would send me some damn roses.

Sam: Why does it have to be a Mormon?

Rebbecca: Oh! [storms off]

Sam: Some people you just can't discuss religion with.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2012-09-10)

[after Milhouse moves out of town, Skinner and Willie are shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends]

Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.

Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-09-09)

Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.

Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2012-09-08)

Narrator: I flipped through catalogs and wondered: What kind of dining set defines me as a person?

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2012-09-07)

Naomi: "I thought you were happy-go-lucky."

Jerry: "No, no, no, I'm not happy, I'm not lucky, and I don't go. If anything, I'm sad-stop-unlucky."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-09-06)

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-09-05)

[Frasier's rocker neighbor's music is shaking his apartment]

Frasier: Doesn't he take a break for sex and drugs?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2012-09-04)

Charles: Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and... , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...

Carrie: That was very romantic.

Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2012-09-03)

Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him.

Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.

Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

Inigo Montoya: What's that?

Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-09-02)

I've had worse.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-09-01)

Alicia: There's nothing like a love song to give you a good laugh.

Source: Notorious